I have been sitting here all day every day for close to 8 weeks. The other day I was cleaning and really getting a lot of work done, but by the end of the day, oh boy did I pay for it.
Mono is a strange thing. If you feel good (which you often do upon waking up in the morning), then you think that logically it means you are getting better, all is well, and by all means get that work done!!!! …WRONG.
Fact is, even if you feel amazing you’re not supposed to work at all for a long period of time until you are absolutely sure you’re on the mend, and then you’re only supposed to slowly introduce things back into your life. Otherwise, you set yourself back.
Well guess what I did the other day. I’m set back. Which means a spleen that hurts like the dickens, waterlogged limbs, and endless spacing out while attempting to stay awake. Problem is there are endless rehearsals, housework, school work, and this thing called socialization that awaits me.
Well, not really socialization. I quite literally have only “sort of” friends that talk to me only when I am needed aside from my dear friend Laura. Oh well… But it would be nice to actually get out of the house and do something fun. It’s getting to be rather maddening. I might call the doc doc about it, but I doubt they can do anything. It’s just “one of those things” that has to run it’s course.
Well, it’s allowed me to start a blog. If I wasn’t so dang bored I would have never started one. So, dear mono, thank you for that. Aside from blogging there is nothing to do but knitting or drawing or reading, or anything else you can think of that requires little to no movement. BORING. I’m going out of my mind!!!! I just need something to DO . I have forgotten that people EXIST out there. Seriously. My “sort of” friends have become shadows. As if it was all a weird dream. =\
Something else mono does to ones pathetic little subdued mind, is the lack of information that is retained. I seriously forgot to get my mom coffee 3 times in one day, forgot about a meeting I have on the 9th until just now, forgot about the fact that I still have a book I’m reading and need to finish, forgot about the school work I needed done. I forgot laundry, dishes, I forget to eat ALL the time.. I’m forgetting peoples names (when I say people, I mean my family members because I’m STUCK here O.O), I’m forgetting to brush my HAIR for crying out loud, so I now have a knot in the back of my head I need to work through.
It’s like everything just seems like a bigger deal than it is. Everything takes more effort, which makes everything just this mess of discouragement I must make something out of. Even my excitement about college and my future has dissipated. It all just seems like too much to handle. I’ve become used to being sick >.<
Well yes, this is a rant. Partly because I don’t know what else to blog about, and partly because it really is bugging me. lol Maybe I’ll find something interesting to blog about later. BTW, though I did not get mono through a kiss (no idea how I got it), dont kiss people, dont share drinks or chapstick or anything else that could possibly transmit mono. YOU.DONT.WANT.IT.
Hell is repetition as Steven King says in the mini series “Storm of the Century” (haha good movie)…mono certainly is repetition. As the hilarious little pic I found on google says, I have indeed run out of sick days (8 weeks…uh yeah) and though unemployed, I say to life, “I’m calling in DEAD”.