, , ,

Today I will be writing about two days.

On the 97th mark, with 97 days until I move away for college, I was told by my mother that I would be driving down to Texas with both of my parents, and that I would be able to bring everything I needed to – as apposed to the perceived plane trip which would leave me with almost nothing to bring, and I’d have to ship everything else- if I could ship it.

Well, the next day, with there now being 96 days until college move in, I was told that my dad had miscalculated and that he would prefer to fly.

My heart, and spirit, sunk. I felt as though I was nearly free sailing with the idea that God had come through and made things so that I could drive instead of fly. He was providing for me by changing my method of getting there, and I was finally seeing God’s faithfulness pull through.

Wow… Such ignorance.

The reality is that I was told when I accepted this concept of moving so far away to attend school and continue the mission of a particular ministry, that it would be far harder than anything would be here. It would suck, and it would not at all be something desirable by most. But I was willing to accept it anyway.

I was so shocked upon hearing the news that I wanted to cry but couldn’t. I wanted to scream but didn’t, and I wanted to hide away from God- but Jonah proved that was impossible. I felt like I had done something wrong. Like God was punishing me. I spoke with a dear friend about this, and they reassured me (several times) that God is faithful, and that if I remain faithful, and commit my mission to Him again and again, He will not abandon me. Jesus was forsaken by God, so that I never would be. I’m not alone, and I am not being punished. This is just another obstacle to overcome- another hurdle to jump. I said I wanted to make this leap fearlessly…it’s just going to take taking off fear at every moment- I have a feeling this is not the last of my troubles in accomplishing this small step.