Wow…Going through old pictures is so strange. I was looking through my parents photos with myself tagged in them, and found a picture of me right after I was baptized.
It’s so strange, because at the time being only 7 years old, I really did not know what I was doing. My mom and dad always say I was and am a very logical person. I depend on it to get me out of situations and rarely act out of emotion. I can remember telling my mom I wanted to get baptized with such sureness that it was not only necessary, but a MUST. I knew I would go to hell if I didn’t….and so I was baptized that next sunday.
However the steps in my life have certainly taken me away from God, and there was a time when I denied him completely. It’s so strange…the innocence of a child at 7 years old can know fully the importance of committing their life to Jesus, and yet at 14 years old I busied myself with tearing my Lord’s heart to pieces because of the life I chose to live. If we only had that innocence as we did when we were children…if only we looked more to children as an example of how we are to believe. As I stared at this image of myself after I was made new in Jesus…It’s as if taking a step back into the past. Marveling at where that 7 year old little girl would go, and what she would do. Astonished that she is still alive and breathing. I wish I could go back and see what I was thinking…to see God in that fresh perspective. There is so much to say in looking back on all He’s gotten me through…but that innocence is equally as precious. I wish I knew that little girl- I wish I didn’t loose her like I did through tasting the darkest things in the world. But maybe I have tasted bitterness so others won’t. I hope that someday my daughter can be baptized, and though she may stray, someday she’ll look back on the photos I took of her young face, and remember what it was all about.